This is a penned summary, an apology, a confession, a challenge, a manifesto, a journey, and a deeply personal milestone conquered.
“A Moment of Silence for My Social Life”
I Can’t Stand It Anymore
Although we might not agree with the state of the new generation our world has harboured, we have no choice but to witness its affects on the world.
As a true-blooded 90’s kid, I often find the latest trends, or even the newest online challenges, revolting. I cannot stand the fact that there are people out there with albums full of hundreds of selfies, and I hate the fact that there is no longer any respect for grammar, anywhere. Spelling has also lost its significance. These are but minor grievances in a world of much darkness.
There is a different side to this problem altogether. Besides the fact that girls are taught to make themselves cheap for attention, and guys going out to prove that they are the princes of the internet (for example, a guy trying to take a selfie beside a moving train, who then got delightfully kicked in the head by the conductor – see the video here), there is the fact that the internet, or technology rather, has made us lazy.
We have google instead of books, automatic reminders instead of trying to remember things ourselves, chat rooms with anonymous strangers instead of attempts to make real-life friends, the list goes on forever. I’m not saying technology isn’t convenient, because it sure as hell is, but how far will it go?
Time Flies When You Work Too Hard
Sometimes life just gets too busy. It turns into a runaway train that never stops and the only way to get off is to jump off. It’s much easier to see what your friends are doing on Facebook than to go visit them. It’s much simpler (and often it’s much needed) to stay home and take a breather today because the week was insane, and in turn to meet up with that person next week.
But, next week is going to be worse, so we’ll cancel until further notice, reschedule to a day you’re both not busy, and always keep the illusion running. In your heart of hearts you still care about the people in your life, but in your soul you know you just don’t have the strength anymore.
Maybe next week. Maybe next weekend. Maybe once a month. Maybe before the holidays. Maybe when they decide to call you. Maybe then.
On it goes. Nearly a year later I shook with a horrid realization. We have everything we need right here in our home. We never have to leave.
A Moment of Silence
A moment of silence. My social life has imploded, and I have very little desire to revive it. The world outside is horrid, cruel, and selfish, and if I see one more stupid selfie, or read about one more mass shooting, I’m just going to completely give up on humanity. I’m etching out the tombstone in my head. “Here lies my social life, murdered in 2015. If future me ever wants to try this again, tell her she’s an idiot.”
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone, Get Out of Your Head
After several alarm sirens going off in my head, and realizing I was firmly on my way to losing all touch with humanity, and reality for that matter, I decided something had to be done.
To be entirely honest, after I decided to do something proactive to save my social life (not that I felt I needed one, but because I didn’t want to lose connection with what’s still good in the world), it took four months of reading up on ways not to lose your friends, and ways to maintain a large amount of friendships, and ways not to lose your mind in the midst of chaos. And I still couldn’t do it.
I still did not feel confident that I wouldn’t just sink back into my happy little world in another dimension, and just drift away again.
Forced to Action, Challenged to Commit
A big change came out of nowhere. We were moving. Not even to a different house or city, but to a completely different region, far away.
This shocked me to my core. I’ve been in this city for four years, and the most times I’ve ever seen one friend was 3. 3 visits in four years. That’s not even once a year. What kind of a friend does that say I am?
This one friend was a particularly good friend, and I couldn’t even give her one day each year.
Right then and there I decided that it was no longer acceptable. If there are people in my life I appreciate, I should let them know about it (here are some good ideas for doing just that). Even twenty minutes out of a busy day can mean the world to someone. An hour out of a Saturday isn’t going to do any harm either.
Write and send a letter. Go to that thing you were invited to but you didn’t quite feel like going because you want to do nothing in that time, be honest with yourself, you were going to do exactly nothing weren’t you? So give that hour to a friend. They might need it more than you do.
There is a magnificent world out there, you just have to look to find it. Take it from someone who has been there. Go explore it, and take a friend with you. And if you don’t have a friend to take with you, go to a place you love, and make a new friend. The only word you need to say is “Hello.”